September 27, 2022

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Expensive Annie: I really don’t like that my grandkids are contacting my ex’s new spouse “grandma”

3 min read

Pricey Annie: I feel the most valuable lesson my father instilled in me was to do 1 excellent deed each individual day. He always advised my sisters and me that we would have a really significant existence if we practiced that.

He did not give us every thing we questioned for, but he did really encourage us to share some of our toys, guides and far more with other community young children in will need.

I try to remember Father worked a complete-time occupation and served my mother with housework, but he would generally acquire time to give someone a raise, mow a lawn or assistance a farmer with chores (my father beloved farming). Thank you, Father. I still observe your excellent example each day. — Your Loving Daughter

Pricey Loving Daughter: Your father sounds like a superb man. A certainly delighted life is not about 1 big everyday living occasion that takes place it is about living each working day to the fullest, and the ideal way to do that is to do excellent for others. Thank you for sharing your father’s knowledge and case in point.

Dear Annie: I was married for 28 decades to a person who was very emotionally abusive. He arrived and went as if our property had been a hotel, and he cheated on me with other ladies.

It took me a prolonged time to “find the door” to depart, but I obtained a master’s degree though going to college at night time and acquired a instructing job, which permitted me the independence to leave. Besides becoming abusive, he would use our income for himself. He purchased cars and other merchandise even though we struggled with primary demands.

Fast ahead 20 decades. I am now retired, but I battle with rely on in interactions, and I am going through some write-up-traumatic pressure disorder. Nonetheless, I am happy to have moved on and am undertaking my very best. My ex remarried, and his next wife still left him for essentially the identical causes I did. I have never remarried.

As of July, he is on his 3rd wife. My kids are acquiring their young children simply call her “Grandma.” I am brokenhearted. My grandchildren will not be in a position to differentiate amongst this new wife and me. Soon after I lifted them in such adverse circumstances, they do not treatment how I feel. I have requested them to phone her by her 1st title or another nickname.

They treatment extra about her inner thoughts than mine.

Should brand-new action-grandparents be identified as “Grandma”? On top of that, some of them are living in the exact city, though I have retired to yet another condition. I am seriously brokenhearted. — Sad Grandma

Expensive Unhappy Grandma: Anyone looking at your letter feels your suffering. You have each individual appropriate to be sad about this situation. Your children have taken their father’s facet in this, perhaps out of concern. The great news is that wife variety a few will probably not previous, and the total spouse and children appreciates who the actual grandma is.

Convey to your little ones how a lot this hurts you, but also tension that you love them and your grandchildren and almost nothing should really interfere with that. In the lengthy operate, nothing will.

Watch prior ‘Dear Annie’ columns

“Ask Me Anything at all: A Yr of Assistance From Expensive Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut reserve — featuring most loved columns on love, friendship, spouse and children and etiquette — is accessible as a paperback and e-guide. Take a look at for much more data. Mail your questions for Annie Lane to


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